My Kindergarten Heart – Take Two

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So, this happened again today. There will be just two days of The Kindergarten Heart for this mama. The first one was tough and the second even tougher. I almost didn’t make it out of the school before the break down took place. Big tears welled up at the good-bye point with my baby girl. But I had to fight them back with all I had. Because there were people – parents, teachers, and children – everywhere. So, while the gigantic tears welled up, I dared not let them fall. I saved them all for the car ride home.

I don’t write this to make you cry too but I think that every mom who has done the first-day-of-school-ever thing understands. The very first day of kindergarten is so bittersweet. Eva was so excited and did not ask questions or show any doubt. She came down the stairs for breakfast with her grand proclamation, “It’s the first day of school!” Smiles ensued. Excitement was expressed. I made pancakes and poured milk into glasses, all the while feeling a slight out of body experience. Same with the drive in to school. I had the ‘this-can’t-be-happening’ sensation.

Eva is so lucky to have the same kindergarten teacher that Easton had. Therefore, we are all so lucky. We know her. We love her. She set the bar very high for future teachers to instruct my children throughout their education. Ms. B makes the whole transition to school easier. I know Eva is in the very best hands and for that I am so grateful.

I take heart in knowing that I am not alone in this day. I also know that as parents we don’t just have a kindergarten heart, but a first grade, second grade and all the way through school heart. With each passing year, it is amazing to see the changes, the growth, and my own heart adjust. I try to prepare myself months in advance but I’m never quite ready for the big day.

I hope that your first day back was filled with the same wild ride of emotions. Happy tears are the best kind and while sadness is mixed in, knowing that the baby, toddler and pre-school days are officially over for us, I rejoice in the fact that I have healthy, sweet children and I could not ask for any more.

Growth is inevitable and with time {and a few tears} accepted.

May the growth of your children go slowly and may you soak up every inch!

My Kindergarten Heart

Last week we celebrated Easton’s graduation from pre-school at Trinity.  He has been attending Trinity since he was eighteen months old.  He will be six in a few weeks.  (Six!!?!!) 

I keep asking myself, “Where has the time gone?”.  I knew this day was coming.  I have known for years.  And yet, my heart is still having a hard time letting go.  

My sweet boy.

Oh, I have soaked up every single moment with him and will continue to do so.

But now, it is as if a part of me is not sitting here at my laptop but it is sitting in Mrs. B’s class at Garfield Elementary School.  My heart is at kindergarten.  I took the day off in anticipation of this monumental event.  Because I thought I might be sad.  And I am.  But happy too.  Because Easton is so very excited for Kindergarten. 

He has been talking about it for well over a year, eagerly anticipating the day when he could attend.  We have encountered numerous kindergarten adventures in the books we read at home.  He has been attending pre-school two days a week so he is familiar with the environment.  He attended Kinder Camp two days last week, which most certainly helped ease the transition to the new school for both student and mother alike. 

Last night, I was too excited to sleep.  My mind was reeling with memories of the past and anxiety about the future.  So, I prayed.  As hot tears began to roll down my cheeks, I prayed for blessings at Kindergarten.  For kind hearts, for guidance and protection, and for a great year of learning.  I prayed for the teachers and parents and when I thought of the whole universe and mothers everywhere doing this or having done this, I felt better.  Much better. 

So, it is with an excited heart that I present to you my sweet boy, who now has the new title of (gulp!) Kindergartener.

Is it just me or does he look older in only one week???

I know I have been in various stages of denial throughout the summer.  Click here for proof.

However, I put on my brave mom game face for Easton today and am slowly sliding into acceptance. 

Slowly.

Back to School Blessings to All –

It’s Really Happening

 

A few weeks ago I was walking through my home away from home, Target (or Targét Boutique if you will), and I nearly had a panic attack as I encountered the seasonal corner.

It was most certainly not a sight for the faint-hearted.

I was shocked.

Devastated.

Heart-broken.

It was hard to believe that my retail friend could injure me by what seemed to be such an alarmingly early display.

Everywhere I looked, there were reminders of a day looming on the horizon.

In aisles and on end caps, I could not take my eyes off of the dreadful items on the shelves.

There were crayons, notebooks, glue, markers, backpacks, calculators and all sorts of… I can barely bring myself to say it…back-to-…*deep breath*…school…supplies. *another deep breath*

 

Oh good Lord! My sweet boy turned five last fall and I knew this day was coming. But already? As if the old-fashioned alarm clock in my head is not ticking loudly enough? I will have to let go. But it pains me so. I have been mentally preparing myself for years. I think my only source of strength is Easton himself. He is ready. He is excited. He will be my rock on that fateful day, September 4th, 2012. I will have to steel my heart and put on my game face. I will not shed a tear in his presence. But when he walks into that elementary school, my heart will find a new ache.

I don’t even know if I am really as worried about him as I am about other kids. I’m worried that someone will be mean to him. Someone will say something unkind to him. Someone will hurt him, with words or actions. And the mere thought of that happening is unbearable.

I trust that all we have taught him in the last five plus years will shine and sparkle. It will glisten in the playground sun. He will exude kindness and a sweet heart and his good nature will protect him. His pre-school adventures at Trinity Children’s Center will guide him as he encounters similar situations in kindergarten.

There. I said it. Kindergarten. I know that he will be fine. I just don’t know if I will.

At least I still have 49 days, 10 hours, and 15 minutes.

Desperately trying to reign in the First Day of School for My Baby Jitters –